A coaching truism: self-awareness is the starting point for development. Indeed, this applies to career and leadership development.

Unfortunately, most people are so busy cramming each day with work, family, leisure, and life-maintenance tasks that we rarely take the time to reflect on who we really are right now. 

Many of us look back at ourselves in high school and college, or during our twenties or thirties and have a laugh or think of that gospel lyric ‘thank God I’m not like I used to be’.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to know your current self so that in twenty years you don’t reflect on this time and cringe? The good news is, that with awareness, you can make changes to start living and working more as the person you hope to be. However, Daniel Goleman does warn us to not become obsessed with knowing ourselves. 

But, how do you get to know you? Fortunately, feedback is all around. 

A shift in perspective about daily encounters is one way to gather feedback. Think about your interactions and relationships with friends, family, co-workers, employees, customers, grocery store cashiers, your postman, etc. Monitor how they react to you as therein are clues. Defensive behavior, excuses, and more may also provide insight.

Another way to get information is to ask people what they think. Others may not be comfortable giving feedback about your perceived weaknesses but usually will share with you perceived strengths. Being clear on strengths is just as valuable as clarity around our weaknesses. A way to put a little structure into this is to do your own version of the Reflected Best Self exercise. 

Traditional feedback includes the formal performance discussion at work and also data from personality inventories or 360 degree feedback instruments. Reliable and valid assessments provide another snapshot of you. If your employer does assessments, ask to participate. If not, consider finding a coach that provides these services. 

Self-awareness is an ongoing process worthy of consideration every so often. 

What techniques do you use to know yourself? Share your thoughts in the comments below.