My client Lila shared a story about the leader of her organization whom she had always described as being a very tough, smart, unapproachable executive, and maybe even a bit arrogant. This was her impression of him after several years working for the company. She did not think him a bad leader but he did not inspire her nor had he ever given her a reason to be a vocal supporter.
However, that changed last month. Lila told of a company-wide event where she witnessed the leader welcoming a young, new, and nervous employee in a kind and genuine manner. It happened as people were leaving – an interaction between just the two of them. It was really random that Lila happened to be standing nearby and saw it happen. Watching that 30 second encounter completely changed her perception of the leader, turning her into a real fan.
What is interesting to me is how something so seemingly minor, radically shifted Lila’s thinking about the guy.
Sometimes little things make the biggest impression.
Would love to know what kind of leadership behaviors move you from being neutral to an enthusiastic supporter. Leave a comment below or shoot me an email at laura@laurawolfephd.com
Do you know you?
A coaching truism: self-awareness is the starting point for development. Indeed, this applies to career and leadership development.
Unfortunately, most people are so busy cramming each day with work, family, leisure, and life-maintenance tasks that we rarely take the time to reflect on who we really are right now.
Many of us look back at ourselves in high school and college, or during our twenties or thirties and have a laugh or think of that gospel lyric ‘thank God I’m not like I used to be’.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful to know your current self so that in twenty years you don’t reflect on this time and cringe? The good news is, that with awareness, you can make changes to start living and working more as the person you hope to be. However, Daniel Goleman does warn us to not become obsessed with knowing ourselves.
But, how do you get to know you? Fortunately, feedback is all around.
A shift in perspective about daily encounters is one way to gather feedback. Think about your interactions and relationships with friends, family, co-workers, employees, customers, grocery store cashiers, your postman, etc. Monitor how they react to you as therein are clues. Defensive behavior, excuses, and more may also provide insight.
Another way to get information is to ask people what they think. Others may not be comfortable giving feedback about your perceived weaknesses but usually will share with you perceived strengths. Being clear on strengths is just as valuable as clarity around our weaknesses. A way to put a little structure into this is to do your own version of the Reflected Best Self exercise.
Traditional feedback includes the formal performance discussion at work and also data from personality inventories or 360 degree feedback instruments. Reliable and valid assessments provide another snapshot of you. If your employer does assessments, ask to participate. If not, consider finding a coach that provides these services.
Self-awareness is an ongoing process worthy of consideration every so often.
What techniques do you use to know yourself? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Music.Is.Powerful.
It is once again that most wonderful time of the year – Jazz Fest!!!
To celebrate and for the benefit of new subscribers and since I’m constantly adding to it, here’s a re-run of my change playlist.
Because we live in a world of constant and rapid change, chances are good you are / have been recently / or soon will be re-inventing.
You can harness the inspirational power of music to support and fuel transition. How? First, stop listening to anything that reminds you of the situation you are leaving – whatever you’re done with. Next, listen to something different. Does not have to be new music, just new to you. It is amazing how powerfully certain songs bring up memories and the associated feelings. Not listening to those particular triggers frees you up to think about your future. Create a vision for your new life and link it to some different tunes.
Below is my always growing list of songs about change. Make yourself a change playlist and then listen to it a lot.
And, don’t stop thinking about tomorrow…
- A Change Would Do You Good – Sheryl Crow
- Roll the Bones – RUSH
- Don’t Stop – Fleetwood Mac (especially the version on The Dance featuring the USC marching band)
- I Won’t Back Down – Tom Petty
- The Power of Goodbye – Madonna
- Owner of a Lonely Heart – Yes
- Uprising – Muse
- Sing the Changes – The Fireman
- Roll with the Changes – REO Speedwagon
- I Will Not Be Broken – Bonnie Raitt
- Fly One Time – Ben Harper and Relentless7
- Above the Bones – Mishka
- Changed – Rascal Flatts
- Brand New Day – Sting
- Cool Change – Little River Band
- Give Me Love (Give Me Peace on Earth) – George Harrison
- Dog Days are Over – Florence + Machine
- Changes – David Bowie
- Hold On – Wilson Phillips
- Big Girls Don’t Cry – Fergie
- Burning Down the House – Talking Heads
- Feeling Good – Nina Simone
- Already Gone – Sugarland
- You Get Knocked Down – Chumbawumba
- Should I Stay or Should I Go? – The Clash
- You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet – Lisa Marie Presley
- Changes IV – Cat Stevens
- Everybody’s Changing – Keane
- Ramble On – Led Zeppelin
- Girl on Fire – Alicia Keys
- Turn! Turn! Turn! – The Byrds
- Head Full of Doubt, Road Full of Promise – Avett Brothers
- A Change is Gonna Come – Sam Cooke
- What Doesn’t Kill You – Kelly Clarkson
- Not Ready to Make Nice – Dixie Chicks
- Move From the Hood – Luther Allison
- The Climb – Miley Cyrus
- Fly Away – Lenny Kravitz
- Tomorrow – from the musical “Annie”
- We Gotta Get Out of This Place – The Animals
- How Do You Like Me Now? – Toby Keith
- Dream On – Trombone Shorty
- Let It Go – Idina Menzel
- Pink Floyd – Learning To Fly
Check out Pandora, Spotify, and Milk Music as low cost, no cost sources for new and different music.
NPR featured songs about change in a story awhile back. And for a wonderful, thought-provoking music-reinvention analogy, check out Christopher Bowe’s blog post for HBR.
Would love to know your favorite songs of change. Please share in the comments below.
Development Pearls
What I try to do through my coaching and my writing is to help individuals find work that they are on fiyah about and to help managers and leaders grow in ways that improve both their performance and the lives of people in their organizations.
This week I published my second e-book for Kindle on Amazon. Development Pearls: Information for Professional Development is a collection of blog posts I’ve written around professional development and it is available for FREE through midnight March 23.
Feel free to share and thanks again for your support.
Laura
Would love to hear about your development journey.
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