Laura Wolfe Coaching LLC

Supporting the Evolution of Careers, Leaders,

& Climate Consciousness

Culture and the Handshake

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handshakeAnother day, another listicle, right?

Danny Rubin shared one recently listing 24 Things Millennials Need to Know About the Real World.

Item #2 caught my eye: A flimsy handshake and poor eye contact make you look weak and unsure of yourself.

Here’s a lifehack for that one: Knowing when a firm handshake and eye contact are appropriate shows you are culturally fluent and understand the global nature of our world.

The norm in the US is the firm handshake and eye contact but US companies and their customers are becoming increasingly diverse so thinking before you shake and stare is a good idea. The appropriate greeting can vary depending on culture.

Here are just a few to consider:

  • In Africa a limp handshake is correct; direct eye contact with someone in authority is usually considered aggressive and rude.
  • In Japan, a soft handshake is appropriate.
  • Junior level people in South Asian and East Asian cultures typically avert their eyes after extending a hand for a handshake.
  • A lighter handshake is preferred in the United Kingdom.

Because of the diversity in our world, it may be best to not judge someone based on a handshake. Further, we can’t always know the greeting style people prefer but it is worth consideration. Experts on cultural competence often mention the platinum rule “Do unto others as they would like to have done unto them.”

Becoming a student of cultural norms and preferences is a good idea for pretty much everyone in the 21st century. Classic work in the area of culture and behavior and a good starting point for learning more is Geert Hofstede’s cultural dimensions theory. For more on culture and the handshake, google that phrase.

Finally, as a small-boned woman who wears rings and may have a bit of arthritis, I don’t particularly like to shake hands. Probably because too often handshakes are crushing and painful. I’m also a bit of a germaphobe and prefer to not shake hands at an event where food is involved – like cocktail buffets or lunch/dinner meetings.

I realize that not shaking violates all sorts of business etiquette rules and social expectations so I regularly do it, but I just wanted to share my innermost thoughts on this one.

What do you think about handshakes and other greetings in a professional setting?

Finding Your Center

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220px-Russian-Matroshka2In the animated feature film Rise of the Guardians, Santa Claus talks to Jack Frost about his center or what he was born to do. He does this using a Russian nesting doll version of himself. As he takes apart the doll, Santa describes various characteristics that others probably see in him: jolly, mysterious, fearless, and caring, until he finally gets to smallest doll. It has big eyes, open in wonder. Santa explains that this is his center and that keeping wonder in the lives of children is his life’s work.

This scene is a good way to think about the concepts in Pamela Slim’s fantastic new book, Body of Work. She is a genius at helping people find their center and then supporting them as they create whatever is needed to do the work they were meant to do. In her book, a Body of Work is the evolution of that 20th century concept known as the Career.

This broader view recognizes the role our roots play in our work and also recognizes that both ups and downs are of value in the bigger story. Even time not working in a formal, paying job contributes to our body of work. This framework helps us make sense and find the meaning of what we are doing, even in a world of constant change and occasional employment uncertainty.

Because people are much more complex than a nesting doll, the process Slim describes is involved, requiring a certain amount of introspection. It includes a look at values, strengths, skills, experiences and more as the ingredients that combine to create a body of work. She also shares her wisdom on how to execute your life’s work including chapters on fear, collaboration, and defining success. This book is a detailed and beautiful guide for examining and understanding your body of work, full of stories, insights, exercises, and how to’s.

Helping people figure out their center and their next steps is some of the most exciting work I do as well and I am very proud to be certified in Pamela Slim and Michele Woodward’s Career Invention process.

If you were to take apart a nesting doll of yourself, do you know what you would find at the center?

Would love to hear about your body of work.

Tree Pose Lessons

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happynewyearTree Pose is a yoga balance posture that offers some wisdom for the new year.

1. Focus on a faraway point. It helps with balance. Seems the the greater the distance between you and your focal point, the more stabilizing it is. This idea is helpful in life as well. If you are too focused on the immediate (which may or may not be worthy of extreme focus) and lose sight of the great thing you are working toward, you may feel overwhelmed and get wobbly..

2. Support from others really helps. During a very crowded class last week, the instructor told us to close our eyes and hold the hand of the person on each side. One was a friend and one a stranger, both in tree pose as well. Even though we couldn’t grip too tight or lean too hard, it was hugely supportive.

Here’s to a New Year with just the right balance.

Would love to hear what you’ve learned on the mat.

It’s Never Done

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Resumes have been on my mind lately – probably because I came across this article and then listened to a discussion about them in this interview. Resumes have also been the focus of much recent work with my clients. Part of that work is coaching around how to manage the resume.

The following* is a bit of my resume philosophy with some how-to sprinkled in:

Your resume is never done. You should regularly update and tweak it. If you keep up with it while you are happily employed, it will be ready when you need it. A good way to manage this is to create a folder called resume that you keep forever, whether in the cloud or by moving it whenever you get a new computer. If you target different industries for which you use a different resume, create a subfolder for each within the resume folder.

Help manage it via the file name. I recommend using First Last Resume Month Year (e.g., Laura Wolfe Resume Nov 2013.docx). Whenever you revise your resume, do a Save As, keeping all older versions. If there are a lot of revisions during one month, use the date in the file name as well (e.g., Laura Wolfe Resume 11-21-2013.docx). It is helpful to recruiters to have a file name that is unambiguous.

Speaking of helping recruiters, the easier you make their job, the better. This is not a resume tip but important nonetheless – personalize your voicemail message. Use your name so the recruiter won’t wonder if they dialed the number right and feel compelled to hang up and dial again to be sure. And, don’t have a cutesie or long, drawn-out voicemail message.

A resume and linkedin profile should be complementary. Make sure the work history, education, and dates are consistent. Using the resume and linkedin profile together to tell the whole story is especially helpful if you have a lot to convey and it won’t all fit on two pages. Including a link to your linkedin profile on your resume is a nice touch, especially if you have additional rich information on linkedin. This link can be placed either in the header with your contact info or possibly in the footer. You can personalize the url of your linkedin profile by following these instructions.

Research suggests recruiters spend only a few seconds scanning each resume so it must be designed to capture the reader’s attention and tell your story clearly and fast. Design options are numerous but your resume really needs to reflect you. Regardless of the design, sloppiness, spacing issues, misspelled words, typos, grammatical errors, and other careless mistakes are often (and should be) fatal.

I have additional thoughts on resumes but this one’s running long so keep an eye out for more in a future post.

*There is conflicting info and advice on resumes out there. Read as much as you can and follow the recommendations that feel right for you. A test of resume effectiveness is whether or not it is getting you interviews.

Would love to know how you manage your resume.