A coaching truism: self-awareness is the starting point for development. Indeed, this applies to career and leadership development.
Unfortunately, most people are so busy cramming each day with work, family, leisure, and life-maintenance tasks that we rarely take the time to reflect on who we really are right now.
Many of us look back at ourselves in high school and college, or during our twenties or thirties and have a laugh or think of that gospel lyric ‘thank God I’m not like I used to be’.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful to know your current self so that in twenty years you don’t reflect on this time and cringe? The good news is, that with awareness, you can make changes to start living and working more as the person you hope to be. However, Daniel Goleman does warn us to not become obsessed with knowing ourselves.
But, how do you get to know you? Fortunately, feedback is all around.
A shift in perspective about daily encounters is one way to gather feedback. Think about your interactions and relationships with friends, family, co-workers, employees, customers, grocery store cashiers, your postman, etc. Monitor how they react to you as therein are clues. Defensive behavior, excuses, and more may also provide insight.
Another way to get information is to ask people what they think. Others may not be comfortable giving feedback about your perceived weaknesses but usually will share with you perceived strengths. Being clear on strengths is just as valuable as clarity around our weaknesses. A way to put a little structure into this is to do your own version of the Reflected Best Self exercise.
Traditional feedback includes the formal performance discussion at work and also data from personality inventories or 360 degree feedback instruments. Reliable and valid assessments provide another snapshot of you. If your employer does assessments, ask to participate. If not, consider finding a coach that provides these services.
Self-awareness is an ongoing process worthy of consideration every so often.
What techniques do you use to know yourself? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Growing College Kids
H
ere is some new and interesting research on college students and career development:
1.A recent Gallup poll that examined the relationship between college experiences and life after graduation found that what mattered most to ending up engaged at work and having a sense of well-being was real support from faculty / mentors and experiential learning (i.e., projects, internships, extracurricular activities/organizations) while in school. Sadly, only 3% of those surveyed strongly agreed that all of these were part of their college experience.
2. Research by Katherine Milkman, Modupe Akinola, and Dolly Chugh found that when prospective grad students reached out to tenure-track faculty for a meeting, the requests of women and minorities were ignored by faculty at a higher rate than the requests coming from men. Interestingly, the bias against women and minorities was greater in higher paying disciplines and at private institutions. They found little discrimination in the humanities, more discrimination in the natural sciences, and much discrimination in business schools.
If we generalize the Gallup research mentioned above to grad students, this difficulty women and minorities experience establishing a mentoring relationship is even more troubling.
3. Speaking of business schools, gender, and careers, research by Laura Kray examines why women may opt out of high-paying business careers. In an interview on NPR’s Morning Edition, she shared her findings about b-school students saying “men tend to have more lenient ethical standards than women, and secondly, that negotiators are more likely to tell a blatant lie to a female counterpart than a male counterpart.”
This is a fascinating study and it would be interesting to know if the gender differences in ethical standards and behavior are true for business school faculty as well. I’ve written previously about ethical behavior while in college and believe it has many long-term implications.
Finally, (disclaimer: it’s my alma mater) what a fantastic way to develop college students – Earl Leonard, a UGA alum mentors students in UGA’s college of business.
Does this research reflect what you are seeing in the universities you care about and with the college kids in your life? Would love to hear your thoughts on this.
Music.Is.Powerful.
It is once again that most wonderful time of the year – Jazz Fest!!!
To celebrate and for the benefit of new subscribers and since I’m constantly adding to it, here’s a re-run of my change playlist.
Because we live in a world of constant and rapid change, chances are good you are / have been recently / or soon will be re-inventing.
You can harness the inspirational power of music to support and fuel transition. How? First, stop listening to anything that reminds you of the situation you are leaving – whatever you’re done with. Next, listen to something different. Does not have to be new music, just new to you. It is amazing how powerfully certain songs bring up memories and the associated feelings. Not listening to those particular triggers frees you up to think about your future. Create a vision for your new life and link it to some different tunes.
Below is my always growing list of songs about change. Make yourself a change playlist and then listen to it a lot.
And, don’t stop thinking about tomorrow…
- A Change Would Do You Good – Sheryl Crow
- Roll the Bones – RUSH
- Don’t Stop – Fleetwood Mac (especially the version on The Dance featuring the USC marching band)
- I Won’t Back Down – Tom Petty
- The Power of Goodbye – Madonna
- Owner of a Lonely Heart – Yes
- Uprising – Muse
- Sing the Changes – The Fireman
- Roll with the Changes – REO Speedwagon
- I Will Not Be Broken – Bonnie Raitt
- Fly One Time – Ben Harper and Relentless7
- Above the Bones – Mishka
- Changed – Rascal Flatts
- Brand New Day – Sting
- Cool Change – Little River Band
- Give Me Love (Give Me Peace on Earth) – George Harrison
- Dog Days are Over – Florence + Machine
- Changes – David Bowie
- Hold On – Wilson Phillips
- Big Girls Don’t Cry – Fergie
- Burning Down the House – Talking Heads
- Feeling Good – Nina Simone
- Already Gone – Sugarland
- You Get Knocked Down – Chumbawumba
- Should I Stay or Should I Go? – The Clash
- You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet – Lisa Marie Presley
- Changes IV – Cat Stevens
- Everybody’s Changing – Keane
- Ramble On – Led Zeppelin
- Girl on Fire – Alicia Keys
- Turn! Turn! Turn! – The Byrds
- Head Full of Doubt, Road Full of Promise – Avett Brothers
- A Change is Gonna Come – Sam Cooke
- What Doesn’t Kill You – Kelly Clarkson
- Not Ready to Make Nice – Dixie Chicks
- Move From the Hood – Luther Allison
- The Climb – Miley Cyrus
- Fly Away – Lenny Kravitz
- Tomorrow – from the musical “Annie”
- We Gotta Get Out of This Place – The Animals
- How Do You Like Me Now? – Toby Keith
- Dream On – Trombone Shorty
- Let It Go – Idina Menzel
- Pink Floyd – Learning To Fly
Check out Pandora, Spotify, and Milk Music as low cost, no cost sources for new and different music.
NPR featured songs about change in a story awhile back. And for a wonderful, thought-provoking music-reinvention analogy, check out Christopher Bowe’s blog post for HBR.
Would love to know your favorite songs of change. Please share in the comments below.
Development Pearls
What I try to do through my coaching and my writing is to help individuals find work that they are on fiyah about and to help managers and leaders grow in ways that improve both their performance and the lives of people in their organizations.
This week I published my second e-book for Kindle on Amazon. Development Pearls: Information for Professional Development is a collection of blog posts I’ve written around professional development and it is available for FREE through midnight March 23.
Feel free to share and thanks again for your support.
Laura
Would love to hear about your development journey.
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