Culture and the Handshake

Another day, another listicle, right?

Danny Rubin shared one recently listing 24 Things Millennials Need to Know About the Real World.

Item #2 caught my eye: A flimsy handshake and poor eye contact make you look weak and unsure of yourself.

Here’s a lifehack for that one: Knowing when a firm handshake and eye contact are appropriate shows you are culturally fluent and understand the global nature of our world.

The norm in the US is the firm handshake and eye contact but US companies and their customers are becoming increasingly diverse so thinking before you shake and stare is a good idea. The appropriate greeting can vary depending on culture.

Here are just a few to consider:

• In Africa a limp handshake is correct; direct eye contact with someone in authority is usually considered aggressive and rude.
• In Japan, a soft handshake is appropriate.
• Junior level people in South Asian and East Asian cultures typically avert their eyes after extending a hand for a handshake.
• A lighter handshake is preferred in the United Kingdom.

Because of the diversity in our world, it may be best to not judge someone based on a handshake. Further, we can’t always know the greeting style people prefer but it is worth consideration. Experts on cultural competence often mention the platinum rule “Do unto others as they would like to have done unto them.”

Becoming a student of cultural norms and preferences is a good idea for pretty much everyone in the 21st century. Classic work in the area of culture and behavior and a good starting point for learning more is Geert Hofstede’s cultural dimensions theory. For more on culture and the handshake, google that phrase.

Finally, as a small-boned woman who wears rings and may have a bit of arthritis, I don’t particularly like to shake hands. Probably because too often handshakes are crushing and painful. I’m also a bit of a germaphobe and prefer to not shake hands at an event where food is involved – like cocktail buffets or lunch/dinner meetings.

I realize that not shaking violates all sorts of business etiquette rules and social expectations so I regularly do it, but I just wanted to share my innermost thoughts on this one.

What do you think about handshakes and other greetings in a professional setting?