My client Lila shared a story about the leader of her organization whom she had always described as being a very tough, smart, unapproachable executive, and maybe even a bit arrogant. This was her impression of him after several years working for the company. She did not think him a bad leader but he did not inspire her nor had he ever given her a reason to be a vocal supporter.
However, that changed last month. Lila told of a company-wide event where she witnessed the leader welcoming a young, new, and nervous employee in a kind and genuine manner. It happened as people were leaving – an interaction between just the two of them. It was really random that Lila happened to be standing nearby and saw it happen. Watching that 30 second encounter completely changed her perception of the leader, turning her into a real fan.
What is interesting to me is how something so seemingly minor, radically shifted Lila’s thinking about the guy.
Sometimes little things make the biggest impression.
Would love to know what kind of leadership behaviors move you from being neutral to an enthusiastic supporter. Leave a comment below or shoot me an email at laura@laurawolfephd.com
Who doesn’t love a good developmental framework?
I certainly do because even though empirical support is typically mixed, they provide a way to think about processes that are often messy and hard to define. A couple of my favorites are Piaget’s theory of cognitive development, Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, and Martha Beck’s four phases of change.
Another worthy of mention is Bennett’s Developmental Model of Intercultural Sensitivity or DMIS.
The DMIS is a framework for considering the evolution of understanding cultural differences. It is a scale comprised of these six steps:
1. Denial – your culture is the only culture
2. Defense – your culture is the best; others are inferior and stereotyped
3. Minimization – you are aware of differences but dismiss them because ‘we are all the same’
4. Acceptance – you recognize differences and are actively trying to learn more about other cultures
5. Adaptation – you use empathy to understand the viewpoint and experiences of other cultures
6. Integration – you deeply understand more than one culture and each is part of your identity which is continuously developing
Over the years, I have become more interested in learning of and understanding other cultures and now realize it is an ongoing process and that I’ll always be a student. The DMIS gives me some perspective as to where I am along this journey.
A final thought: As the world grows smaller and our communities and workplaces grow more diverse, understanding cultural differences is more and more important to career and leadership success.
Does the DMIS resonate with you? Do you have a favorite developmental continuum? Would love to know what you’re thinking. Comment below or shoot me an e-mail at laura@laurawolfephd.com.
Thanks for reading.
Do you know you?
A coaching truism: self-awareness is the starting point for development. Indeed, this applies to career and leadership development.
Unfortunately, most people are so busy cramming each day with work, family, leisure, and life-maintenance tasks that we rarely take the time to reflect on who we really are right now.
Many of us look back at ourselves in high school and college, or during our twenties or thirties and have a laugh or think of that gospel lyric ‘thank God I’m not like I used to be’.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful to know your current self so that in twenty years you don’t reflect on this time and cringe? The good news is, that with awareness, you can make changes to start living and working more as the person you hope to be. However, Daniel Goleman does warn us to not become obsessed with knowing ourselves.
But, how do you get to know you? Fortunately, feedback is all around.
A shift in perspective about daily encounters is one way to gather feedback. Think about your interactions and relationships with friends, family, co-workers, employees, customers, grocery store cashiers, your postman, etc. Monitor how they react to you as therein are clues. Defensive behavior, excuses, and more may also provide insight.
Another way to get information is to ask people what they think. Others may not be comfortable giving feedback about your perceived weaknesses but usually will share with you perceived strengths. Being clear on strengths is just as valuable as clarity around our weaknesses. A way to put a little structure into this is to do your own version of the Reflected Best Self exercise.
Traditional feedback includes the formal performance discussion at work and also data from personality inventories or 360 degree feedback instruments. Reliable and valid assessments provide another snapshot of you. If your employer does assessments, ask to participate. If not, consider finding a coach that provides these services.
Self-awareness is an ongoing process worthy of consideration every so often.
What techniques do you use to know yourself? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Cultural Fluency #2
This post is the second in my series of resources for increasing your CQ* (cultural intelligence).
The phrase – ‘When in Rome, do as the Romans do” – basically means to do as those around do and is good advice to heed. The idea fits well with the platinum rule of cultural competency “do unto others as they would like to have done unto them”.
Learning the norms and customs of other cultures can be quite interesting and practicing them when you interact with people from those cultures communicates your respect. Given the immense diversity on our planet and the increasing diversity of our nation, communities, and workplaces, being a student of other cultures is yet another piece of the continuous development puzzle.
I’ve written previously about how the greeting varies from culture to culture and am sharing this video as a resource. It includes information about how to greet people around the world (actually nine countries) and is a start for learning what’s appropriate.
For many of us, drinking coffee is important and almost a daily ritual. If that is true for you, check out this infographic on ordering coffee around the world. This particular resource goes out to my favorite coffee drinking friend and avid traveler – you know who you are! 🙂
Speaking of coffee, I’ve read that in certain Eastern European cultures, formal performance discussions between a manager and employee begin following coffee and pastries.
Finally, for insight on learning more about other cultures via food, here is a post by travel blogger Andy Andersen. It is certainly a bonus if you get to experience the food in its country of origin but if not, check out ethnic restaurants in your community.
*I use cultural fluency, cultural competence, and cultural intelligence interchangeably.
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