Communication. It keeps coming up for me. Saw this article on improving communication yesterday and spent last week preparing for and doing a teambuilding session on communication where we dug into different communication styles based on Myers-Briggs type (which is a great way to improve communication btw).
A few months back I wrote about active listening, a skill that when used can radically change communication for the better.
‘Tis the season for communicating with clients, co-workers, family members, friends, neighbors, and others in the holiday spirit.
Here is some communication wisdom from Brene Brown, from her book The Gifts of Imperfection about her research on wholehearted living. Brown writes about compassion, connection, and her finding that the remedy for shame is to share our stories of shame experiences with someone who has earned the right to hear them.
Some of her recommendations apply to this time of year when emotions can run high and random conversations can happen with people we rarely encounter. Should someone share with you a real and possibly dark part of themselves, don’t:
- feel shame for them and confirm their awfulness.
- feel sorry for them. Empathy is good, sympathy not so much.
- refuse to acknowledge the horror of their story by discounting it and insisting they must be exaggerating.
- one-up them with a story about how you’ve experienced something more whatever.
Do listen with compassion, without interrupting. Acknowledge their strengths and their struggles.
Connection is a wonderful thing. Here’s wishing you much of it this holiday.
Would love to know how you support others when they share with you sensitive stuff.